his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
