one two three fourrrrnication!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
