Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
