Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
