You just made me feel so damn special
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
