Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
