Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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