Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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