Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i've created a new STD.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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