meet me or not, i'm out of control
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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