i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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