girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think a kid would responsible me up
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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