i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
