Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
