I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
