I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
