But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
