Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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