She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
