I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
