It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
