My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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