OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
