i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
