i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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