We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
