I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
