I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
birth control should be required to get into college
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
