so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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