Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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