you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The air was thick with penises
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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