so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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