Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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