He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
