you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
