Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
