I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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