Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
