she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
