Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
