escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
