I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
