Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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