Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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