Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
