So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
