Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
