I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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