I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
honey bunches of taint.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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