I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
