He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
