I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
