That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
